How do you reinforce a new behavior?
Let’s say you have done some introspection and realized that handling a particular situation differently is more constructive. How do you reinforce that new behavior, esp in the heat of the moment?
Like other areas of life where practice makes perfect, you have to practice your new desired behvaior. But the challenge is that the fight that you want to handle differently, or the unpleasant interaction you had at work, or the road rage you felt on your way home, hopefully, don’t happen frequently enough. So, what’s the equivalent of daily jogs on the way to train for a long distance race day here?
Behavior Rehearsal
Behavior rehearsal is a technique used in various fields, including psychology, education, and sports, to help individuals improve and refine specific behaviors or skills. It essentially involves practicing desired behaviors in a controlled environment before applying them in real-life situations.
The key benefits are:
Enhance proficiency: Rehearsal allows individuals to practice and refine desired behaviors repeatedly, leading to increased confidence, fluency, and effectiveness when performing them in real-life scenarios.
Boost confidence: By practicing in a safe and supportive environment, individuals can overcome anxieties and self-doubts associated with new or challenging behaviors.
Improve communication and social skills: Rehearsal can be used to role-play specific social situations, allowing individuals to experiment with different approaches and communication styles, leading to more effective interactions.
And the ways to practice it are:
Imagination / visualization: Individuals can mentally rehearse desired behaviors, visualizing themselves performing them successfully in specific situations, potentially including vivid images of that situation unfolding.
Scripting / journalling: Individuals can write down scripts for specific situations, outlining the desired responses and potential challenges they might encounter. One could also write fictional scenarios where they are the protagonist who behave in the desired way.
Role-playing / acting: This involves acting out scenarios with another person, allowing individuals to practice communication, negotiation, or conflict resolution skills in a simulated environment.
Now in rehearsal or real world settings, being able to summon a desired emotional state becomes important. Without the presence of the destructive emotional state you want to reduce, or the constructive emotional state you want to enhance, it will be difficult to create the necessary cognitive associations and corresponding pathways for the new desired behvaior.
Emotional Conditioning
Emotional conditioning is the process of learning to associate an emotional state with a specific physical activity or sensory input. The relevance to the topic at hand is that one could elicit a particular emotion using an external stimulus like a particular physical activity, or auditory / visual / olfactory / gustatory input.
The basic learning process involves pairing a neutral stimulus (physical activity or sensory input) with an unconditioned stimulus (naturally rewarding or aversive event) to elicit a conditioned emotional response. The objective is to teach the brain to use the neutral stimulus (which is easier to access) as an anchor to summon the desired emotional response (which is harder to access). Some of the classic examples are:
Pairing deep breathing (physical activity, neutral stimulus) & reducing anxiety and feeling calmness (naturally rewarding)
Pairing progressive muscle relaxation (physical activity, neutral stimulus) & feeling calm and confident (naturally rewarding)
Pairing walking / jogging (physical activity, neutral stimulus) & reducing craving for snacks (naturally rewarding)
Of course, the neutral stimulus one chooses has to be consistent with the context it will arise. For example, if you get anxious in the middle of public speaking, you can’t use jogging as your anchor during public speaking, while jogging is a great one for calming nerves in days leading to that speaking session. Maybe a particular breathing pattern, or specific way you touch your arm can become the anchor for dealing with anxiety during the presentation.
Another important topic is the timing. When rehearsing, either through visualization, scripting, or roleplaying, you want to make sure the neutral stimuli happen only during the peak of the desired emotional response to ensure a stronger pairing. Then at the game time, one could use appropriate cues like the anticipation of an unpleasant encounter, or a physiological response to a stressor as a reminder to engage in the neutral stimuli to trigger the desired emotional response.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness could act as an important catalyst before, during, and after exercises like these. Mindfulness improves the granularity of experience which in turn increases the likelihood of noticing important details.
Mindful observation before conditioning: Before engaging in emotional conditioning exercises, practice mindful observation of your emotions and identify the specific behavior you want to address.
Mindful breathing during rehearsal: While rehearsing a desired behavior, incorporate mindful breathing techniques to stay present, manage anxiety, and enhance focus.
Mindful reflection after both: After conditioning or rehearsal, reflect mindfully on the experience, noticing any emotional shifts, challenges encountered, and areas for improvement.
